


stay (just a little longer)

by sarahyyy



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: First Kiss, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-15 05:15:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3434909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahyyy/pseuds/sarahyyy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Grantaire,” Enjolras says, and Grantaire has to look away from the sad twist of Enjolras’ lips. “Are you angry at me?”</p><p>Grantaire swallows. He is angry, but not at Enjolras. He is angry that he has been placed in a position where he has no reason to stay, save for the one he isn’t willing to share with Enjolras.</p>
            </blockquote>





	stay (just a little longer)

Enjolras is watching him pack, and it’s— It’s distressing, because Grantaire is pretty sure that his hands are shaking a little, and Enjolras must notice, he’s sharp and he’s observant, and Grantaire doesn’t want to have to explain why he’s falling apart systematically just because he has to leave Enjolras.

He waits for Enjolras to call him out on it, because Enjolras has never been good with tact, but Enjolras just stays where he’s leaning against the jamb of the door quietly and keeps watching him pack.

It takes longer for him to pack up his things than he remembers it used to. He doesn’t have many belongings, and he probably wouldn’t have bothered to come back to pack if Enjolras hadn’t frowned and said that he should, when Grantaire had gotten the call from Enjolras’ father.

He zips up his duffel bag slowly, checks the time on his watch, and says, “I should be going.”

Enjolras looks away from him and takes a breath. “Do you want to leave?” he asks, when he drags his gaze back to Grantaire. “I know you have family back home, I know how hard it was for you to leave them when my father asked you to come with me, I know you miss them. I thought you’d be happy about going back, but you’re…not.” He pauses, takes an aborted step towards Grantaire. “You don’t look like you are. So I have to ask. Do you want to leave?”

Grantaire doesn’t reply. He knows what he’ll end up saying if he opens his mouth, and he can’t say it, because Enjolras isn’t ever supposed to know, and Grantaire is leaving. He’s kept it together for three years now, he can do it for a few minutes more. 

“Grantaire,” Enjolras says, and Grantaire has to look away from the sad twist of Enjolras’ lips. “Are you angry at me?”

Grantaire swallows. He is angry, but not at Enjolras. He is angry that he has been placed in a position where he has no reason to stay, save for the one he isn’t willing to share with Enjolras. 

“No,” he says quietly, truthfully. And then, “I should be going.”

“Grantaire, please hear me out first?” Enjolras asks. “I keep meaning to apologise. You were only here because my father made you come with me. You never wanted to be here-”

A laugh bubbles out of Grantaire. He doesn’t even think to stop it, because he knows Enjolras is ridiculous, knows that he says most ridiculous things sometimes, and Grantaire’s always taken pleasure in being contrary even when he knows Enjolras is right, but this? This isn’t just ridiculous, this is _so wrong_ that Grantaire doesn’t know what to do with it.

“That’s not why I’m here,” Grantaire says, when his laughter dies down. Because he may be leaving, but he doesn’t want to leave with Enjolras thinking that he thought it was a hardship to be here with Enjolras. “That was never why I was here. I didn’t come here because your father asked. I came here because _you_ needed me to.”

Enjolras looks away from him, body tensed. “I’m sorry,” he says. 

“For the love of God,” Grantaire mutters, drops his duffel bag onto the ground, and makes his way to Enjolras. He almost reaches out to grab Enjolras’ shoulders, but stops himself in time. “I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I don’t need you to apologise to me. Yes, I had to leave home behind, and yes, I have missed Floréal a lot, but if I had to do it all over again, I would’ve still come with you.”

His words don’t calm Enjolras down or assuage Enjolras’ guilt like Grantaire thought they would. He sighs and reaches out slowly to clasp Enjolras’ shoulder lightly. “Nobody made me come with you out here,” he tells Enjolras gently. “Nobody had to.”

“But _why_?” Enjolras blurts out, still upset. 

Grantaire lets his hand fall from Enjolras’ shoulder, and smiles, sad. “If you don’t already know,” he says, turning to pick his duffel bag up from where he’d dropped it, “then there’s no need for you to find out now.”

Enjolras is quiet. 

Grantaire straightens himself and meets Enjolras’ eyes. He even manages a small smile. “Keep yourself out of trouble, yeah?” he says, and then slings the duffel bag over his shoulder and walks out of the room.

He makes it out of the house before he starts to pay any mind to his racing heart, to the fact that his eyes are stinging. 

He needs to leave, needs to be as far away from here as he can be, but he’s lived the past three years putting Enjolras’ safety first, and now that he’s supposed to leave Enjolras behind, everything feels off kilter. He doesn’t know where to go, doesn’t know what to do with himself.

“Grantaire!” Enjolras calls, just when Grantaire gets into his car. Where Grantaire had been walking slowly to his car, Enjolras is taking huge strides, his hair billowing out behind him in the wind. He looks beautiful; Grantaire has to leave. “Grantaire, stop, wait!” 

“Fuck,” Grantaire curses, and fumbles where he’s trying to fit the keys into the ignition. He ends up dropping the keys. “ _Fuck_.”

“Grantaire,” Enjolras says. “Grantaire, _why didn’t you say anything_?”

Grantaire laughs, bitter. “Why would I?” 

“ _Grantaire_.” He places his hand gently on Grantaire’s arm. “Talk to me, please.”

“I’m already leaving, Enjolras,” he says, and Enjolras’ grip on him tightens, as if he could keep Grantaire there just like that. Grantaire swallows and tries not to think that Enjolras probably could. “Why do you have to make it so difficult?”

“Do you want to leave, R?” Enjolras asks again. He moves his hand down Grantaire’s arm, takes Grantaire’s hand in his, strokes his thumb over the back of Grantaire’s hand. “I’ve… _For so long_ I’ve- I didn’t think that you could possibly feel the same. And I couldn’t say anything. I couldn’t risk making you feel even more trapped here than I already have, and I didn’t want you to leave because of how I felt for you.”

Grantaire doesn’t breathe. He thinks he’s forgotten how to. 

“I keep asking you if you want to leave,” Enjolras continues, and his jaw is set and his eyes are burning with the kind of passion that Grantaire has only ever dreamed about Enjolras directing at him, he’s determined to get this right. “But maybe that isn’t the right question, maybe the question that I should be asking is… How can I make you stay, Grantaire?”

“Enjolras,” Grantaire exhales. “What are you saying, Enjolras?”

“I don’t want you to leave,” Enjolras says quickly. “Christ, Grantaire, I’ve been in love with you for _years_ , I don’t ever want you to leave. But if you’re unhappy here, if there isn’t anything I can do to make it better, to make you happier, to make you want to stay…I’ll go back with you.”

A wounded noise escapes Grantaire. He doesn’t know what he’s more affected by — the fact that Enjolras has been in love with him for years, or that Enjolras is willing to undo three years of keeping himself under the radar of his father’s enemies to go where he thinks Grantaire will be happy. 

Enjolras smiles at that, just a little. “Tell me what to do, R.”

Grantaire kisses him.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm [here on Tumblr](http://sarah-yyy.tumblr.com/), come say hi!


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